Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
