Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
