I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
