Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
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