Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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