She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
