Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
