once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
