I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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