a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
