just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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