You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
