DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
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