pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize