Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you would pick up someone in the library
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
