This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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