you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
