Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
