so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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