yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
