is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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