my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Boobs are out for the taking
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
