haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
