So drunk, too bad you don't want this
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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