is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize