Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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