Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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