just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
