I'm really into asian looking animals
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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