Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
