Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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