god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
