Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
