And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize