I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
