she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize