you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Sorry about my life...
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