you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
