Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize