Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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