I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
