dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
