Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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