I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
