she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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