Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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