And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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