Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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