So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
