im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
