With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
