Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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