A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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