i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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