Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
