I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
