remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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