why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize