woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
