6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
