My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
