just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
