I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
