That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
