I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
