You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
