Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
