Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
