You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
