his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize