If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Every concussion has its silver lining
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
