The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
