Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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