so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Shame - the story of my life.
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