So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize
