I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
