oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
