During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Randomize
