Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
