Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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